As we go through the process of life, we develop in the way that the conditioning in place allows. If our conditioning and hence our development was based in love things would be much different.
Some things we learn come naturally, but everything takes some kind of practice. If you’re learning how to catch a baseball, at first it’s probably awkward with no knowledge as to the best way to do it, but the more you do it the more natural it becomes. This is the same thing if what you’re learning is based in love. Part of the problem (delusion) is when what’s developed isn’t based in love because unfortunately that tends to become natural; this is why it’s so hard to change. I knew what was right (loving) and what was wrong (selfish) growing up. Doing what was loving was not how I developed so being selfish came natural to me and there wasn’t anybody who could tell me different because that’s all I knew.
To say the least, this selfish development caused much suffering because with this conditioning in place, there wasn’t any room for much else to be seen. This is the delusion most people are unknowingly living by and it’s a direct result of why humanity is the way it is. If we all grew up with our development based in loved, humanity would be much different, it’s really that simple. I know this because eleven years ago I began developing a different base (one of love) and every so slowly my behavior became loving. It doesn’t mean it’s always this way, but just as it is with learning to catch a baseball it takes practice, and in my case it’s done so the loving behavior becomes as natural as the earlier development of being selfish was.