The need to pull something in is developed to cope with life, this is why life is seemingly full of problems, but whatever is out there doesn’t cause the problem, it’s the pulling in itself that does.
Nothing needs to be attached to for one to be free. Freedom can’t be found by pulling something in. Pulling in is likened to thinking happiness is outside of you to grab, but truly not needing to pull anything in will only happen when it’s seen as not being needed; if it is not the pulling in will never stop. When you see this the need to pull in will naturally fall away. This is how one has to approach each moment if freedom is to be had. The way we develop habits to cope with things as they arise is why there’s problems; whatever it is that arises doesn’t truly cause a problem. Granted it may be something that you think is really needed, but if the pulling in is not dealt with in a way that what’s out there isn’t attached to or a made up story is used, the energy of the situation will get stored and remain hidden until it’s time to pull in again. This is why the same thoughts are repeated over and over without really giving them much thought, they have to because of the residual pulling energy in place.
Awareness that this is happening can allow you to be with what arises and not want it different. After all that’s the only reason a person pulls something in because the moment is thought to be not good enough. You see this pulling in is the same energy as pushing away, it’s just being used differently. Pulling is attachment because of needing it, pushing is attachment to not wanting it, different action, but the same attachment. This is very subtle to see and it will only be noticed when one is with the moment as it arises and doesn’t need anything to be different. So regardless if what arises is labeled good or bad, it’s all the same attachment, and the only the thing the applied label does is determine if one needs to pull something in or push something away.