There are different ways to handle things as they arise in life, but the key to not being controlled by them is to understand why and who is it that’s being controlled.
As life happens, the way the happenings are handled depends on how one relates themselves to what happens. One way and the most usually, is to make the self so personal that it’s attached to as if what’s happening is happening to you. This is very constricting and creates much suffering because it’s made as if there’s a fault as to why it happened. This is when the would’ve, should’ve, could’ve mind takes over. That there’s a you who things happen to is the conventional way of seeing not only yourself, but also what happens. Nothing truly happens to you, things do happen, but nothing directly happens to you unless there’s a you who attaches to it. I’m not saying ignore what happens, but without the attachment to “I” things that happen are allowed to be as they are without the mind creating suffering. This is not how most people handle things. The conventional thought is there has to be an emotional tie to what happens, but what’s not understood is you don’t have to suffer. This isn’t seen because of the attachment to a self that only exist in the mind.
No one has to suffer through life, but if the herd mentality is blindly followed, than suffering will be the norm. The last few days have allowed me to go deeper within to see how our own suffering is created by holding onto a self that’s been programmed by the conditioning of what is considered normal. If you can’t change what occurred why replay it over and over? Replaying it doesn’t change it, but it does cause it to remain stagnant and create a Conditioned Mind Pattern that doesn’t allow one to see there really isn’t a you to hold onto anything. If you don’t think this is true, where is this self that is so adamantly held onto? I am blessed by the many friends and support I have on Facebook. I will just say this, I am the same today as I was before this mouth thing happened and it’s because without the attachment to self, although what happened happened, it didn’t happen to me. And so to me nothing has changed and it’s not because it’s being ignore, it’s because there’s no attachment to a self to make it personal.