This site has been created to expand and share on some of the insights that led to the writing of It's Monday Only in Your Mind: You Are Not Your Thoughts.

To Cling is to Suffer

A mind that’s free of expectations is a mind that doesn’t cling and without the velcro effects of clinging it’s impossible to suffer. So the dilemma is to cling or not to cling and this makes one’s suffering a choice.

Let go and be free or hold on and suffer, that is our dilemma. Expect things a certain way and when they aren’t in that way, the next step in the process is the reaction to the different results of what’s expected. Peace or suffering, that’s always the choice. If we cling to results and they’re different than expected, it creates suffering and we are the one’s creating it because we are the one’s clinging to our expectations. Disappointment is only unpleasant because clinging to wanting things a certain way makes it so.

When we expect, we attach labels and when we attach labels, we cling. This is how our mind develops the velcro effect of clinging. Even if the expectations work out the way we think they should be, we’re still clinging, but we don’t notice it as a problem because it’s the way that we want it. So the velcro effect of our mind clings to everything that is labeled and since it labels everything, we cling to everything, but we mostly focus on and notice the things that don’t go our way.

The only way to be free of this velcro effect is to not label things. The labeling process of our mind produces clinging, the letting go process through non-judgement produces freedom. It’s a choice that needs to be cultivated so our moment to moment expectations don’t cause our own suffering. Life is one continuous expectation after another, but we have been conditioned to think it’s only the disappointments that effect our velcro mind. We are mostly unaware of this moment to moment labeling process that produces clinging. When the mind quiets enough to understand this, the labeling process will lessen, and so will our expectations. This results in a mind that’s free of expectations and the clinging effects it has on the velcro mind. Without the velcro effects it is impossible to suffer, so the dilemma is to cling or not to cling and this makes one’s suffering a choice.

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