Outside circumstances only affect a person to the degree of their unconsciousness and although a broken mind can’t fix itself, once it’s realized it’s broken it can now be healed.
It’s not what happens that causes one to suffer, it’s the inability to learn from it which causes one to repeat the same behavior over and over. Unfortunately when this is done, it creates suffering which is self inflicted. So subtle is this that only those with a settled mind will see it. I jokingly say I only made five mistakes my whole life, but I made them over and over again, seriously though I was stuck in behavior patterns for forty nine years that led to me to create my own suffering. Fortunately nine years ago this changed and although those patterns are still in place to a degree, their control has lessened and in the process so has the suffering.
The reason these behavior patterns were repeated was because of the attachment to I, this is what was revealed to me. If it wasn’t for them causing my suffering I would probably still be asleep and hence I would still be repeating the same behavior patterns. I cherish this awareness because I now use these behavior patterns for the opportunities they provide and the freedom that can be had when I is let go of.
This is so very subtle because of how engrained these patterns are and also how I is constantly reinforced to remain in control. I can’t stress it enough to sit so the mind settles because if you don’t, the core of all suffering will remain in place. Anxiety, stress, many ailments, fear, anger, feel free to add what has you in its grip, are all caused by the subtle patterns of I that are constantly reinforced. This is what keeps one destined to repeat non loving behavior patterns. All of this come from within oneself, it has nothing to do with outside circumstances and although a broken mind can’t fix itself, once it’s realized it’s broken it can now be healed.