The roots of our struggles go very deep, they’re not just at the level of how we behave, they’re rooted in the structure of how we think. If one doesn’t ask why this is so, nothing will ever change.
Changing our metal structure is like turning a battle ship, the intention to turn happens right away, but the turn itself is gradual. It’s as though we know we need to start turning right away, but we don’t know why. Here’s what needs to be done if one is to get in touch with breaking free of this mental structure. It’s really not complicated, when something is done the question of why needs to be asked. No reason to go all the way back for a childhood reason of why, but why it’s being done right now is sufficient. Here’s an example: in 1935 a man named Bill had a drinking problem. He was sober for six months when he went on a business trip which didn’t turn out in his favor. The ensuing thought that came to him was to go get a drink, fear gripped him, but he was able to draw on the base of what he learned in the six months he was sober; to reach out to another person with a drinking problem. He did this and basically AA was started. This isn’t to say AA doesn’t do good things, it’s just to show how it could possibly be more effective in helping people.
I know this post will not sit well with some people, but that’s not really my concern. All that happened to this man Bill was a business deal went sour, nothing more. Why he wanted to drink was never asked and so a program was developed that could have been so much more effective if the question of why did he want to drink when all that happened was things didn’t go the way that he wanted. If he asked himself this question that situation would have probably turned out much differently.
If the need to reach for something happens because life throws you a curve ball and you don’t ask why am I reaching for something, you may use a distraction not to succumb to it, but you will never be free because you will never get in touch with why the reaching was needed in the first place. Why am I doing this or that is the most important question you can ask yourself when something is done that’s not in your best interest. If you don’t, you will just substitute one thing for another and in the process remain entrapped to what’s causing the need to reach. You may not like this post and you may even ignore it, but don’t be surprised when life throws the next curve ball and you find yourself reaching for something, you just won’t know why you’re doing so.