To understand the Conditioned Mind allows for the freedom of non judgement. And when one doesn’t judge, the made up stories derived from the past aren’t the base of ones prevailing actions of the present.
To the extent that one holds on to the past will the prevailing actions control the present. And however one is conditioned the appropriate actions will ensue. So until the conditioning that is based in satisfying I is changed, nothing will change. All this occurs in the form of thought, for without the thoughts of the past there would be no actions associated with it. So where would that leave one, but to have actions that are associated with what is occurring right now instead of some past conditioning. This isn’t to say one should forget the past, but to live in it is not conducive to one emanating energy that produces love.
Love can only occur now. You can’t love the past, you may like circumstances that occurred in the past, but love can’t exist there because love is energy and energy is always now, it can’t be stored. The thought of love isn’t love. To say “I Love You” isn’t love, words are but expressions of what arises from stillness. To understand everyone does what is done because of the way they are conditioned is the beginning of the end to ones blocks to truly knowing what love is.
Some people have mental health issues and this doesn’t pertain to them, but the conditioning for most of us controls our entire existence because it is mostly drawn from the past. When you take two sugars in your coffee, why do you think that is? Or why is it that you like some things and not others? The conditioning is so subtle, but if one can develop quietness it can be seen. And once it is, it allows one the ability to stop being controlled like a puppet on a string so life can truly be lived by being with what is occurring now, instead of being controlled by some past Conditioned Mind Pattern.