Even when one is wronged and justified in getting even, it will harm them more then it will the other person because it keeps one in the grip to an aversion that doesn’t allow one to love.
What someone does is not about me unless it is made so, even if it is something done to me. But what if what someone does affects people we love, then what? Do we not have the right for revenge? The problem with making it personal is even if someone we love is hurt it doesn’t take the hurt away. It doesn’t undo what is done. Revenge, as in an eye for an eye as the bible states, doesn’t really work because it doesn’t take away the hurt. You may tell yourself it makes you feel better and one may even believe it does, and to the Conditioned Mind it will say justice is served, but it won’t change any of the facts of what happened. The mind always looks for some form of comfort and it uses revenge as one of these.
We say things like we hope people get what they give out in life and if they hurt others they should get what they deserve, but it doesn’t take away the pain of those who are hurt. The irony of an eye for an eye is it doesn’t really make a person feel better. To me the reason why Jesus taught to turn the other cheek was not so much for the benefit of the person who is causing the harm, but for ones own heart to remain in the presence of love. The mind wants an eye for an eye because it is part of its conditioning, but for the heart to remain of love we have to turn the other cheek. The ego will tell you to attack back and seek revenge, but the heart knows if you want to remain at peace the other cheek will also have to be exposed. This is difficult as is most behavior based in love because of the conventional methods that are in place that aren’t based in love. But the alternative is to remain controlled by a mind anchored in greed, hate, and delusion. Its a choice and one that will decide life’s direction and the level of peace it has. So the more one tries to get even with someone, whether they are right or wrong, the more they are dragged down into a place that makes love a place that is just about impossible to live from.